Mozart and the Whale

I made JT watch a movie with me the other night. We don't offend watch entire movies together unless we are in the theater; otherwise I always fall asleep about 30 min in. This film had such an impact on me that I just had to post something about it. I know I tend to talk about this subject a lot, so if your not interested, you can stop reading now. Sometimes I just have to get it out.

Mozart and the Whale is based on a true story about a couple who both have aspergers (like Boston.) It stars Josh Hartnett (so glad they picked someone cute for the role and he did an awesome job.) Although it ended well and overall had a really positive message it was so hard to watch. You hear a lot about kids with aspergers and autism these days, but not a lot is out there about adults. It was great in giving hope that people with aspergers can have relationships and jobs and lives. It was painful to see how hard it will be for him to make friends or to ever have a relationship. It killed me to see the main character in a job interview unable to make eye contact with the employer. My heart sank when the female character tried to kill herself. It's so easy really now with Boston only being 3. If he says something weird, I can just pass it off as he's 3, he's learning the ropes of the world. It won't be so easy when he is 15. When he is grown I won't constantly be there by his side prompting him how to interact with people. He is such a happy kid most of the time (except for when he has his classic meltdowns.) I get worried that the smile will fade when he gets in school and actually realizes he is different.

I know we all have our sob stories. We all have trials, but this is our families and this is my blog. I take it particularly personally because I had such a difficult time making friends in school. Infact I still have a hard time. I will never forget recess at school. Hiding in the corner watching the other kids play. Most kids love recess time. I Hated recess and gym. It almost makes me sick to think about it. I had Selective Mutism until I was 10 and wouldn't speak at all in social situtaions. I remember the kids coming up to me and taunting me to say my name or how old I was. Then when I did start to talk at school I didn't know how to act and was super obnoxious because I thought that's what the cool kids did. It wasn't so cool for me. I remeber on one of my first dates the boy wanted to sit in the back with my friend on the way home. I didn't date much. I am so glad JT came along and stuck around.

To think that Boston could have it even harder breaks my heart every time I think about it. It makes me never want to send him to school and to shelter him for the rest of his life. I want to tell the kids to be nice to him and tell girls to give him a chance someday. I don't want him to have to fight his own battle.

It may sound like I am complaining, but really I'm not. I have come to this profound realization lately of how grateful I am for this challenge. Boston is amazing. One of the biggest misconceptions people offend have is how smart he is. They hear autism and they think he is dumb, actually he's very very very smart. He picks up on all the academic stuff so quickly that it amazes me. It's the social skills stuff that is so hard for him. I know that his smarts will change the world. I can just feel that he will do something big. He is who he is and I wouldn't change him for the world. He is such a tease and so loving and sweet and funny. I just want the other kids to see this side of him. I guess you could say I want to change the world, not Boston.

Thank you to everyone who continues to send there children over to our house, to those of you who have invited him to birthday parties or invited Boston over to play. It means so much to me and I never take these experiences for granted. That's the biggest blessing in all of this. I cherish every time I see him having fun with a friend.

It you are interested in knowing any more about Asperger's or Autism I highly suggest you check out Mozart and the Whale. It's a great one. Or just come talk to me; I'm pretty much an encycolpedia on the subject.