sometimes I feel so alone even when people are near me. Tonight my thoughts are about how sometimes I miss the carefree life I had as a young married woman without the heavy responsibility of motherhood on my shoulders. It is an honor to be a mother but sometimes the responsibility feels ... daunting ... especially when you are working on a few hours sleep per night over several days... weeks... months.
And tonight there is part of me that wants to go back further and get in my car and drive home to my mama's house and crawl into her bed to snuggle up to her and spend a night not worrying about when the baby will wake up or what I need to help the kids do to get ready in the morning or how tired I am going to be if I can't get myself to sleep in the next 10 minutes. My mother makes me feel good and ... safe ... and not alone ... and ultimately loved. I miss her. In the business of the "schedule" I miss her.
5 comments:
I feel that way so many times, especially lately thinking that we're going to have a 4th, and how on earth am I going to handle it? I just keep telling myself, it is all worth it, & try to find as much joy, and the funny parts of each day.
Carly,
I am sure every mother has felt this way. I feel this way daily...
I don't know how women become mothers without having a mother around. How hard would that be. I still depend on my mom so much.
I still depend on my girlfriends (you) so much.
I love reading your blog. You always make me think about things.
I know you probably feel this more than anyone else...and I realize I only have a 3 month old..but I totally get where your coming from and I could not have said it better. Mom's just make everything better no matter how old you are!
Carly, You know I am always a phone call away!! I am lucky to have my mom so close but since she started working a full time job I do it alone...it gets tough sometimes. I always think though of the people I love who are so close to me that cannot bear their own children and it helps to remind me how much my kids mean to me and how precious each of their spirits are and how truley blessed we are. There are challenging days but so worth it. Hang in there!! These days are limited. Some day before we know it we will have teenagers..we will be sitting here wondering where the cute little sticky finger prints and sceaming all went away to.
Amen. Having twins has been quite the experience, along with my sweet 5-year-old, and though I don't EVER regret my choice I made to be a mother, I still have my moments where I am so overwhelmed and want to just run home to my mom.
Post a Comment