Holland

I know I should just set up a separate "Autism" blog, but it's so all encompassing in our lives that I can't help but post about it frequently. It's simply part of our family. I will have JT post pictures asap, because we have lots of cute ones, but this will have to do for now.
My friend Ammie has a daughter with Tuberous Sclerosis. Along with tumors in several of daughters major organs, they also face the possibility of autism or other disabilities associated with T.S. She posted this on her blog and tears began streaming down my face as I read it. It describes what it's like to have a "special needs" child and it just really hit home.

Welcome to Holland
by Emily Perl Kingsley

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome To Holland".

"Holland?!?" you say, "What do you mean "Holland"??? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy"

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned".

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.

Isn't that beautiful! I remember when the doctor told me Boston had an Autism spectum disorder and started describing the challenges I thought "Wait.. you see he is suppose to be the quarterback someday.. girls are suppose to drive by our house honking their horns because he is so cute.. what do you mean social deficits? obsessive interests? It's true, he may not be the basketball star or Mr. Popularity.. but he may just be the next Bill Gates.. and I'm learning to be ok with that!