Is it really bad for me to admit that I'm not the biggest fan of the newborn phase? Since Jocelyn's arrival JT and I have realized just how easy Boston is! Even though he's not very verbal, he can always point out what he wants and he's fun to play with; his smiles and laughs carry us through the temper tantrums, and best of all he puts himself to sleep and stays asleep during the night and for his nap.
That being said, my kids are naturally horrible sleepers!! JT says it's his fault because he is an insomniac; I can never sleep myself, so what can we expect. Jocelyn is just like Boston was as a baby. She takes 20 minute naps in her crib, but will sleep 3 hours if we hold her. The problem this time around is I can't sit on the couch all day rocking and nursing. I have a two year old to take care of! She also hates her car seat and swing so those options are pretty much out. I'm all about having kids cry it out and fully plan to enforce sleep rules as soon as she is old enough to self soothe, but right now she's pretty helpless. Is it only my children who have these problems? Did your kids take 2-3 hour naps as infants? Also, she's a puker. Boston NEVER, I mean NEVER spit up and she projectile vomits! So in between the feeding, screaming, pooping, is the clean up of vomit and changing outfits, both hers and mine. My plan was to spend quality time with Boston when she napped, but since she isn't really napping, he ends up in front of the TV more than half the day! I want to teach him things and play with him and yet I feel like I always have an infant attached to my breast or screaming in my arms which makes me feel completely handicapped.
I really truely do love my little girl. She is a dream come true, but how do I get through these first few months where there is so much fussing, no schedule and absolute chaos?
The only reason I have time to post this is JT is home this week and Boston is napping. It's 1pm and I'm still not completely ready for the day and the house needs a lot of work. That's with two parents doing this. Tomorrow I start on my own and on Monday I start back working in the morning from home and I have to have the kids from 8am to 9am while working. Can I do this? Is it normal to feel completely out of control? Any advice is greatly appreciated and I'll have JT post pics asap!
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14 comments:
oh Carly I can so relate... you are not alone. I promise these days will be over fast and you will wish you could hold her more. I promise. Please let me come clean/watch Bossy roo or even hold baby Jocelyn for a little bit. Or best yet...lets get you out of the house. Park/picnic. Let me know when are where I am there. You are so cute. At least you are honest and don't just try to act like it is easy...because it is not! You do look amazing though..I have to admit I hate you for that (just kidding)!!! My kids all did the sleep only when being held thing at this age, you are not alone!
Carly, you're doing great. I think the first few months are the hardest, because you want to spend time with the new baby, but your other kid(s) need attention... I totally understand, but don't worry, the Jocelyn will grow even faster than Boston did, so just enjoy the cuddly newborn. Also for us we had to strap our kids hands to their sides and swaddle them to get them to sleep for a while, but it worked great. Good luck. You're a great mom!
I don't know if parenthood ever gets easier! Good luck.
I wish I had some advice for you...but I know you're doing great...this is my biggest fear about having a 2nd one...how do you do it?? If you ever need a break give me a call!!! Hang in there!!
Hey darlin', hang in there! Have you asked the doc about her vomiting? If Jocy has reflux, she could be hurting when you lay her down and may just feel comfortable in your arms. Maybe the doc could give you some reflux meds to help out a little (not that I'm all into meds for everything, but it was the only thing that helped with Brin. She started napping the next day.). Do you have anything to prop under her to sit her up a little? That may settle her tummy, or could you prop her up on her tummy sometimes while she sleeps? I know that's a "no no", but we got a little breathing monitor online, so I didn't feel bad about it with Brin. Also, with Allie, we got a book called, "On Becoming Baby Wise." It was heaven! She was sleeping through the night by eight weeks or so. It didn't work with Brin until we got her reflux under control, but the day after she was on her meds, she took a 2 hour morning nap. That had been virtually unheard of!! Seriously, the whole Baby Wise series does miraculous things with children.
Anyways, you're doing a wonderful job! And truly, it is amazing that you are worrying about your house already! I remember when Brin was like 3 months old, I called my dad and was like, "Dad!! We all got showered AND dressed by noon!" It was like 11:52am. Keep up the good work, and HANG IN THERE!!! We love you!!!
She sounds JUST like Hayden. He would nap wonderful, if I would hold him. He had reflux and spit up, no make that puked, all the time, everywhere and all over everything. I hate to tell you, he was never a napper and he didn't sleep through the night until he was about 5! But we survived it. It's rough, but you do what you can. Hang in there, it will get better, you've only been doing it a short while, routine will come soon.
Carly I totally agree with checkin if she has reflux.
Both my kids had this and they didn't want to lay on their back because the food just kept coming up and down. Its like constant heartburn. So I dunno check it out, I had to nurse for 5 mins, sit the baby up for 2 then nurse again for 5 mins. I also had to elevate the crib a bit.
I also agree with the tummy sleeping. I know people are afraid to do this, and wait till she can turn her head to the side but I know many women testify to putting their babies to sleep on their tummy. I have 3 friends that have done this and there kids sleep in 5-6 hour stretches.
I am sorry you are feeling warn out but hang in there. I am sure you are doing great and your house isn't too bad, you are just too much of a perfectionist.. hehehe She is BEAUTIFUL though!
Hey, one more thing...Here's a link to the monitor we got for Brin:
http://www.amazon.com/B%C3%A9b%C3%A9Sounds-Angelcare-Movement-Monitor-Parents/dp/B0000E262S/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1219389891&sr=8-2
I was pretty paranoid about laying her on her tummy until we got it. It beeps if there isn't any breathing movement for 15 seconds. Totally gave me some peace of mind so I could get some good sleep without having to worry about her too much.
Oh shoot. I don't have two kids, but I do have one that still has a bit of the spitting up problem. Kai is just starting to grow out of it and he is almost a year!!! I took Kai into the Dr for his reflux problem and they gave him some meds...the meds didn't work and I am not a huge fan on medicine if it isn't working so I took him off. I was then told that he would problably grow out of it at 3 months (they say most babies do.) Well, at 3 months he was still totally spitting up and they told me 6 months...then 9 months...now they tell me a year. Kai has always been what they call a happy spitter. (He doesn't show any pain or cry when he spits up) They told me if he was showing signs of pain they would have handled it differently. So, I guess you just have to determine if spitting up is hurting her.
Otherwise, I was just told to wait it out. I believe that Kai has been underweight his whole life because he has such a refulx problem. (He inherited this from Ben).
I wish there was more info I could give you, but to this day I still can't go anywhere without a birp cloth...
(My friends baby had a reflux problem and they put her on medication and it totally took care of the problem). Maybe it will for you too.
Good luck.
Wish I were there to help out.
Carly...its be years! I found your blog link on Misty's and wanted to say Hi! Congratulations on your new little one...I have one too (9 weeks now though). I love to hear you on the radio....it shocked me the first time I heard you cause I was like....that is CARLY! How funny. Anyhow, my blog is private, but if you send me your e-mail address, I will invite you. Send me and email to cmray@digis.net So great to see you.
I didn't read everyone's comments, so sorry if I'm repeating what someone else said!
Have you tried swaddling? That is the only thing that worked for Katie and we did it until she was 6 months old! We used the same blanket every time (thin and kinda stretchy material) and wrapped her up TIGHT. It would calm her down if she was sad and it helped her to sleep for hours at a time. IF she became unwrapped, she would immediately wake up!
Anyway, good luck! Things will get easier before you know it!
Can I get an amen? I know what you're going through. Max didn't sleep through the night until he was almost 1! I thought I'd never get a minute to myself or a solid nights rest ever again!!! And these first few months are hard...especially with two! But you are an amazing mommy and Boston will be ok. TV isn't all bad (if you have cable, try Noggin on channel 301--it's like preschool on TV). Anyway, you have to do what works for you, even if it's let Boston watch TV and you take care of the baby. All too soon, the baby will get big and won't let you hold her anymore, so cherish the time you have to hold her. It's OK to let your house get dirty and not get ready for the day. It's only temporary and things WILL get better. In the meantime, let others help you. Like ME! I'll take Boston anytime. Sleep whenever you can so you are rested b/c it's too hard being a happy mommy when you're sleep deprived. You'll have time for the other things later! :) Don't worry, darlin'! It will get easier...or maybe not easier, but you'll be able to handle things better. You're awesome!
dealing with a lot of the same things you are. we've had so many visitors (which has been great) but this little girl hasn't slept a wink without being held by someone...now that our visitors are gone, she wakes up crying the minute I set her in her swing or bassinet! thanks for blogging about it...you have my full support! at least we can go through this together!
Windy and Janece said it. You will get used to it, slowly but surely. Promise. Every new situation takes time getting used to. Don't worry about Boston. He is happy! You are doing a great job, and both of those kids will tell you that someday!
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